Dan from CouplesQuestions recently asked:

Here’s my problem: I don’t have decent fashion sense. I used to find lots of cheap stuff used or on sale, but I just didn’t know what looked decent. Only after I wore it around for a while did I figure out that I’d really just wasted the money.

So, my challenge to you: how about a post on how the fashion challenged can look for bargains too?

Ms MiniDucky added that she’d like similar advice for women.

My reply:

How do you tell whether that heavily discounted piece of clothing is:

1. A fabulous bargain you can show off to your friends, or
2. A fashion mistake you will cringe over for years to come?

I’m going to answer this in two parts because it’s a tricky question. Apart from a few big warning signs, whether something’s a bargain comes down to your personal style, which is harder to define. Today, I’ll give you the warning signs; after some more thinking over the weekend, I’ll post some tips on developing your personal style.

Warning signs: it’s not a bargain if…

If a potential purchase meets ANY of these criteria, it’s not a bargain. Some of these will sound obvious but I’ve listed them because even I have to remind myself occasionally! I’m always tempted by heavily discounted Marc Jacobs shoes, no matter how tiny they are…

1. It’s too small. If you can’t fit into your ‘bargain’, why would you buy it? Maybe you think you’ll lose some weight and wear it then, but if you’re not getting fit and eating well, don’t even think of it. If you are losing weight, I still don’t recommend it - partly because the garment’s unlikely to fit exactly as you imagine it will, and partly because you don’t need the self-esteem drain that a wardrobe full of too-small clothes is going to give you.

The other reason people buy things that are too small is they think it’ll stretch. Jeans and shoes do, but only enough to make something that’s a little tight more comfortable; other things just don’t.

Also, if a garment’s made from stretch fabric, I beg you not to squeeze yourself into a smaller-than-usual size. I’m traumatised by the way flesh bulges and contorts when strangled by lycra; we don’t need any more of it on the streets and you don’t want to be seen looking like that in public.

2. It’s way too big and/or needs substantial tailoring. Baggy clothes suit hardly anyone, so I hope you weren’t even thinking of buying something too big and wearing it as-is.

If a garment’s only a smidgen too big it can easily be fixed by a good tailor; if you factor in the extra cost and it’s still a good buy, go right ahead. Ditto shoes that are one size up from what you normally wear; thick socks can make these perfect.

If it’s more than one size too large, skip it. Shoes can’t be made smaller and altering clothes substantially is expensive (plus the results often look strange).

This also applies to clothes that would be great if you took off the sleeves, shortened the hem and removed the ruffled collar. This will cost a packet and if the garment wasn’t designed to be sleeveless, it’ll often look weird without its sleeves. Better to leave it on the rack.

3. It’s uncomfortable. If it pains you to wear something, it’s not a bargain. So if the fabric itches you, you can’t breathe in it or the heels are too high to walk in, leave it on the rack.

4. It needs repairs you can’t do yourself.

Sometimes things are marked down because a button has come off, the zipper is broken or the hem has come down. These are all easy repairs; a dedicated bargain hunter should either learn to do these or find a dry cleaner that will do them cheaply. Anything that needs more difficult repairs should be left on the rack because it’s unlikely to turn back into a wearable item.

Even when the repair is easy, there’s a second question to ask: will you actually do it? It you have papers to write, presentations to give or squalling infants to comfort, there’s a good chance you’ll never find the time to fix it, so it will be one more thing cluttering your home and to-do list. No-one needs that.

5. It’s badly shop-soiled. In retail lingo items that are grimy, stained or look worn are called ’shop-soiled’. They can be discounted very steeply and might look like a great buy - but the only time I recommend buying one is when there’s a single stain and it’s either easy to remove or inconspicuous.

Excessive shop soiling is usually a sign an item isn’t durable enough for everyday wear. If a garment looks grey and worn after the relatively gentle treatment it gets on the shop floor, can you imagine how damaged it will get the first time you curl up on the couch in it? Or when you walk across the park in those pretty shoes?

(On the flip side, shoes that look pristine after a week of battering in a bargain bin are almost guaranteed to be tough.)

6. It’s hard to keep clean. I’m sure you’ve seen some crazy care instructions: Dry clean only, hand wash only, “the fabric can’t be washed and the sequins can’t be dry cleaned”, lay it flat to dry, only dry in the shade, melts when ironed, never tumble dry, must be gently brushed after each use…

If your prospective bargain’s hard to clean, don’t buy it unless you want to spend your spare time carefully following the instructions.

7. It doesn’t work with anything else you own. A real bargain fits into your wardrobe instantly. If you have to buy a bunch of new things to match that ‘great buy’, don’t do it. The hassle and expense are rarely worth it, and sometimes the reason you have nothing like it is because it doesn’t work for you anyway.

8. It doesn’t suit your lifestyle. A great bargain also fits your life. If your office is business casual, an extra suit is unlikely to be a great deal no matter how cheap it is. If you hate sport, aerobics costumes are not for you. The general rule is: if you won’t wear it in the next month, you probably won’t wear it at all.

(The only exception I make is formal wear, because it’s so expensive when you have to buy it at the last minute!)

So those are my sure-fire signs that the item you’re looking at isn’t a bargain. Early next week, I’ll get into the more nebulous side of bargain hunting: how to find your personal style.

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